Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates information about how many shops are closed and opened during 2011 to 2018 in one country.
Linear graph gives information about the shops which are opened and closed between 2011 and 2018 in thousands. there are several shops which are closed during these years in 2015 there is a biggest fall of all time for opening new shops before marginal rise till 5500 while closing of shops stayed consistent and fallen there is no major rise in closing of shops between these years.
from 2011 we can see measurable drop in closing of shops till 2012 after that we noticed little rise till 2013 after that it again dropped dramatically and never increased till 2018. in the 2018 only 3000 shops were closed which is lowest of all time while 8500 in 2011 is the year of highest closing shops.
however, for opening new shops is different scenario after little fall in opening of new shops in 2011 we can see little rise in new openings after 2012 after that in 2013 new opening of shops decreased by number of almost 700 and after that there is a remarkable fall in new openings of shops till 2015 after that there is sudden rise in new openings in 2016 and it again faces little drop and in the end of 2018 it reaches almost 5200 of new opening of shops.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main trends and provides some data points, but it lacks a clear overview of the overall trends. While you identified some specific fluctuations, the summary is fragmented. The description of the data is sometimes inaccurate; for example, you mention a 'biggest fall of all time' in 2015, but the graph shows a recovery starting then. To improve, ensure you group information logically—perhaps by comparing the two categories—and provide a clear, concise overview paragraph that highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the general downward trend in closures versus the volatility in openings).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of effective cohesive devices. You rely heavily on 'after that' to connect sentences, which makes the writing feel mechanical. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To reach a higher band, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'subsequently', 'in contrast', 'meanwhile') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. The current structure makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the two shop categories.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic verbs like 'closed', 'opened', 'rise', and 'fall'. While you attempt some descriptive language, such as 'remarkable fall' or 'measurable drop', the collocations are occasionally unnatural (e.g., 'biggest fall of all time'). There are also issues with word choice, such as 'linear graph' instead of 'line graph'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'in the 2018'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, making them difficult to parse. For instance, 'there are several shops which are closed during these years in 2015 there is a biggest fall...' is a comma splice. You should aim to use a mix of simple and complex sentences, ensuring that your punctuation is accurate and that your verb tenses are consistent throughout the report.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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