Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

so this graph demonstrate the grow of comercial shops in the country over past few years it alsa shows the number of shows that are closed in that same period of time

according to these reports there are greater number of shops which are being closed that shops which are newly opened and the roughly figure is arounf 6000 to 5000 shops around there years which are the shops which are newly opened and rhe number of shops closed gradually decreased over these years from roughly 9000 to approximately 3000 over that decade of time shops shows well the economy of that is country is and how well the local businesses there tyhe key feature of the shops ios to promote the local busniess in that country local businessis promote country rconomy better then the international businesses this graph shows that this country is going low on its economy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While the report attempts to describe the trends, it lacks a clear overview and fails to accurately report the data points. The analysis is superficial, and the final section includes irrelevant personal commentary about the economy and local businesses, which is not required for an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, you must focus solely on the data provided in the graph, ensure you include a clear summary of the main trends, and provide specific data points to support your descriptions without adding external opinions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow. There is no clear logical progression; the text jumps from describing the data to making general statements about the economy. Cohesive devices are largely absent, and the sentences are linked in a repetitive and mechanical way. To improve, you should structure your report into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs detailing the data. Using linking words such as 'however', 'in contrast', and 'subsequently' will help guide the reader through your analysis.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling errors, such as 'comercial', 'busniess', and 'rconomy'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe trends accurately; for example, 'going low on its economy' is not appropriate academic language. You rely on basic phrasing and struggle to use precise terminology for describing data trends. To improve, focus on learning specific vocabulary for describing graphs, such as 'fluctuated', 'declined steadily', 'remained stable', and 'surpassed'. Proofreading for spelling errors is also essential to ensure your writing is professional and clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles, incorrect verb tenses, and run-on sentences. For example, 'this graph demonstrate' should be 'this graph demonstrates', and 'that shops which are newly opened' is grammatically incorrect. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is almost entirely absent, which hinders readability. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practice writing complex sentences using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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