Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates changes in the number of new shops are opened and closed in one nation from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, opening new shops shows upward trend, while closing shops declining over the period. Meanwhile, fluctuations is depicts over the years.
At the beginning of the period in 2011, the new shops significantly reach there peak under 9,000 shops. Furthermore, in 2012 it then fell to bottom out just under 4,000. therefore, it then increased gradually to just above 6,000 in 2014. Therefore, between 2014 and 2017 shows fluctuation in this year and in 2018 before declining to approximately 3,000.
In contrast, started at above 6,000 shops, In over the years shows varied until 2014, consequently in 2015 less then 1,000 shops are start closing. In addition from 2016 to 2018 closing shops rate are larger than opening and slightly change through three year and reach more than 5,000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the overall trends and some key data points. However, the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the description of the opening shops trend as an 'upward trend' is contradicted by the data, which shows a significant decline by 2018. Furthermore, the reporting of figures is often imprecise or confusing, such as the claim that closures were 'less than 1,000' in 2015, which does not align with the graph. The overview is present but lacks clarity due to these inaccuracies. To improve, ensure that the data reported matches the visual information provided and that trends are described accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and misuse of cohesive devices. Words like 'therefore' and 'consequently' are used incorrectly, often creating illogical links between sentences. For example, the transition 'Therefore, between 2014 and 2017 shows fluctuation' is grammatically disjointed and does not effectively connect the ideas. While there is an attempt to use paragraphing to separate the two categories, the internal flow within paragraphs is mechanical and often confusing. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence follows logically from the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of the writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and repetitive, with several errors in word choice and collocation that occasionally impede clarity. Phrases like 'fell to bottom out' and 'varied until 2014' are imprecise. There are also issues with word forms, such as 'fluctuations is depicts' and 'closing shops rate are larger'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to use more sophisticated or precise terminology to describe trends (e.g., 'upward trend' vs 'fluctuated'). To reach a higher band, the student should focus on learning specific collocations for describing graphs, such as 'reached a peak of', 'experienced a decline', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'fluctuations is depicts', 'new shops are opened'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear subject, such as 'In contrast, started at above 6,000 shops'. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors in tense and word order. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the correct use of tenses when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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