Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
the given line graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
it can be clearly seen that, there was a general decrease in both shops closures and openings over the 8-year period, although both figures fluctuated significantly. the number of closures was higher than openings in most years, except in the middle of the period.
in 2011, shop closures started at their peak of approximately 8,500, which was much higher than the 6,500 new openings. the number of closures then dropped sharply to about 4,000 in 2012, before rising again to a peak around 6,500 in 2013. the openings dropped slightly to 6,000 in 2012, before climbed at peak around 7,200 in 2013, while closures rose more gradually to 5000. the two lines met at about 6,300 in 2014.
the most dramatic change occurred in 2015, when openings plummeted to just under 1,000, while closures fell to 4,000. openings then peaked at around 5,200 and then remained fairly stable to around 5,200 in 2016. in contrast, closures remained stable at 4,000
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The student provides a clear overview of the trends in shop closures and openings from 2011 to 2018, noting the general decrease and fluctuations in both figures. They mention specific data points and changes in the numbers, such as closures starting at 8,500 in 2011 and dropping to about 4,000 in 2012. However, the response lacks a more thorough summary of the data for 2016-2018, which weakens the overall task achievement. Overall, there is a solid attempt to address the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
Coherence and cohesion are adequately maintained throughout the response, with the information being logically ordered. However, there are some issues with sentence structure and the use of linking words. For instance, the phrases like "in contrast" and "while" effectively indicate relationships between data points, but more varied connecting phrases would improve flow. Transitioning from one year to the next can also be smoother to enhance overall cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The lexical resource demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with some effective phrases, such as "peaked" and "plummeted." Nevertheless, there are instances of more simplistic vocabulary, such as "more gradual" and "dropped slightly." A wider range of descriptive terms could be employed to enhance precision and sophistication, showcasing a higher command of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy are generally strong, with mostly correct use of tense and structure. However, there are some errors, such as "before climbed" which should read "before climbing" and issues with punctuation (e.g., missing commas) that slightly impede clarity. These errors are not systematic but do occur frequently enough to affect communication slightly.
Overall feedback
The response effectively summarizes key trends in the graph but could benefit from greater detail in later years and clearer descriptions of significant changes. Enhancing vocabulary with more specific and varied language would strengthen the argument, particularly in terms of accuracy and sophistication. Additionally, focus on grammatical accuracy, especially around gerunds and punctuation, will improve overall readability and clarity. Strive to provide a more comprehensive overview to elevate task achievement further.
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