Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of newly opened and closed shops in a country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it is striking that the number of new shops experienced downward trend, while closed shops accounted rapid fluctuations, rather than following a clear trend throughout the given period.
As can be seen that, new shops dramatically dropped from 8300 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012. In 2014, the number of new shops gradually increased by 2000, while in next year fell down and stood at same point as in 2012. Afterwards, rate of new stores stayed the same, with slight inclined in 2017. Lastly, it was steeply declining to 3000 in 2018.
Moving Further, the number of closed stores went down at a small extent to 6000 in 2012. Additionally, closed shops experienced significant fluctuations, it inclined by 1100 shops in 2013, then minimally dropped by 500 stores in 2014. In 2015, it has faced a drastic change, fell from 6600 to 600. The number of closed shops increased considerably to 5100 in 2016, after this it remained constant with slight change in 2017 with approximately 100 stores.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the requirements of the task by identifying the main trends and reporting key figures. You successfully highlight the overall downward trend for new shops and the fluctuations for closures. However, the analysis is slightly hampered by some inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, you mention a 'drastic change' in 2015 where closures fell to 600, but the graph shows a different figure. Additionally, some comparisons are missing or unclear. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are transcribed accurately and that the overview clearly contrasts the two categories throughout the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'As can be seen', and 'Moving Further' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical phrasing and some awkward transitions. For example, 'Moving Further' is not the most natural way to transition between body paragraphs. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression within the second body paragraph feels slightly disjointed due to the way the data points are listed. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'fluctuations', and 'steeply declining'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'slight inclined' (should be 'slight incline' or 'slight increase') and 'went down at a small extent' (should be 'to a small extent'). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the precision of your report. To improve, focus on using more accurate collocations for describing trends and ensure that word forms (nouns vs. verbs) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'the number of new shops experienced downward trend' (missing article), 'in next year fell down' (missing subject), and 'it has faced a drastic change' (incorrect tense usage for historical data). While these errors rarely impede communication, they are persistent. To achieve a higher band, you need to demonstrate better control over articles, subject-verb agreement, and verb tenses when describing past events. Focusing on proofreading for these common slips will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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