Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graphs illustrate that how many number of shops closed and how many number of shops opened in particular country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it is evident that in 2011, new opened shops higher but end of the 2018 that amount dramatically decreased while the shops which was closed in 2011 it was the lowest than opening number of shops.
In 2011, the number of shops which were newly opened around 8500 then it was decreased highly and reached 4000 number of shops after that it was increased and same with closed shops number after it was stable and then fall and in 2018, there were approximately 3000 newly opened shops.
In addition, in 2011 there were around 6300 shops closed and that amount less then opened shops and then it was increased and reached around 7000 shops and after it was fall significantly and reached less then 1000 but then it rose considerably and surpassed the opening shops line and then it was stable and till 2018 it was reached around 5000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for both shop openings and closures. However, the description of the data is often imprecise and lacks clear supporting figures. For instance, phrases like 'decreased highly' or 'same with closed shops' are vague and do not effectively communicate the specific data points shown in the graph. While the overall trend is captured, the lack of accurate data reporting and the somewhat confusing structure of the comparisons mean the response only partially addresses the requirements of the task. To improve, ensure that specific data points are cited clearly to support the trends described.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of information is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'and then' to link clauses. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third and fourth paragraphs where the sequence of events is difficult to follow. The progression of ideas is not always logical, making it challenging for the reader to track the changes in the data over the specified period. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence follows logically from the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'number of shops'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'new opened shops' instead of 'newly opened shops' and 'that amount less then opened shops'. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more precise verbs (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surpassed') and better collocations to describe trends in data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, such as the opening sentence: 'The line graphs illustrate that how many number of shops closed...', which is syntactically incorrect. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are also inconsistent throughout the text (e.g., 'the shops which was closed'). While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences that lack proper clause separation. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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