Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrates the number of shop closures and new shop openings in a specific country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, both shop closures and new openings showed a general downward trend with significant fluctuations over the 7-year period. while, shops openings were higher than closures at the beginning.
In closures shops, the shops follows higher trend 2011 in 8500. The shops dramatically decrease 2012 in 4000. The shops were rose in 2011 to 2013 was 4000 to 6100 whereas, the shops trend was fall in 2015 and after the trend was fluctuated in 2015 to 2017 was 4000 to 4100. the shops trend was least in 2018 was 3000.
In opening shops, after 2012 the shops were follow downward trend and after the trend increase dramatically in 2013 was 7100 while, the trend least in 2015 was 500. After, the trend flactuated in 2015 and almost rose to 4000 to 4100. Then the trend fall in 2018 was 3000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a summary of the main features, but the reporting of data is often inaccurate and confusing. For example, stating that closures were '8500' in 2011 is not supported by the graph, and the description of trends is frequently contradictory or unclear. While you have identified the general downward trend, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the failure to make meaningful comparisons between the two categories significantly hinders the clarity of the report. To improve, focus on accurately transcribing the data points and grouping information logically to highlight key differences and similarities rather than listing years in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which helps the overall structure, but the internal flow is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the awkward transition 'while, shops openings were higher' and the repetitive use of 'the trend' to start sentences. The logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear references and grammatical errors that make it difficult to follow the comparison between the two shop types. Improving the use of linking words like 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' would help create a smoother narrative flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'trend', 'shops', and 'increase/decrease'. There is also a lack of precision in word choice, such as 'In closures shops' or 'the shops were rose', which are grammatically incorrect and imprecise. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied vocabulary related to data description, such as 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, ensure that you are using nouns and verbs correctly to describe the movement of the data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'the shops were rose'), subject-verb agreement errors, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'the shops follows higher trend'). The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with repetitive patterns. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your verbs correctly match the subject and the time frame being described.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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