Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph illustrates how many shops are aveleble and unaveleble for their customer in one country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the propration of closing shop decreased througout the period, whereas opening shop fluctuated and ended lower than its starting point.
In 2011, the number of closing shops are peaked at 8,500, while open shop figure registered at just 6,500. In 2014, open and close both shop digite level recorded almost similar at 6,500 and 6,100.
In 2015, the both open and close showed an dounward trend at only 500 and 4,000. In 2016, the figure of opening shop drameticly increased at 5,100
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the task. While you have attempted to identify some main features, the analysis is incomplete and stops abruptly before covering the entire period up to 2018. The data reporting is also inaccurate in places, such as the claim that closures fell to 500 in 2015, which does not align with the provided graph. To improve, ensure you cover the entire timeframe, provide accurate data points, and expand your analysis to meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into short paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the response. Cohesive devices are used in a very basic and sometimes repetitive manner (e.g., 'In 2011', 'In 2014', 'In 2015'). The lack of a concluding summary or a more cohesive flow between the years makes the text feel disjointed. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph transitions logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is quite limited and contains several spelling errors, such as 'aveleble' (available), 'unaveleble' (unavailable), 'propration' (proportion), and 'drameticly' (dramatically). These errors, combined with the misuse of terms like 'digite level', make the writing difficult to follow at times. You rely on basic descriptors and struggle to use precise terminology for describing trends. Focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words and practice using synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to add variety to your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that impede communication. Examples include 'the number of closing shops are peaked' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'the both open and close showed an dounward trend' (incorrect article usage and word choice). The sentence structures are simple and repetitive, with little evidence of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and sentence construction. Proofreading for basic errors is essential before submitting your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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