Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates how many shops are available and unavailable for their customers in one country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the proportion of closed shops decreased throughout the period, whereas the opening shops fluctuated and ended lower than their starting point.
In 2011, the number of closed shops peaked at 8,500, while the open shops figure registered at just 6,500. In 2014, open and close both shop figure level recorded almost similar at 6,500 and 6,100. In 2015, the both open and close showed a downward trend at only 500 and 4,000.
In 2016, the figure of the opening shops dramatically increased to 5,100, when closed shops remained steady at 4,000. During 2017, the numbers for both categories plateaued, hovering steady at around 5,000 for openings and 4,000 for closures, a pattern that largely persisted into the following period.By 2018, both shop openings and closures fell to their lowest points, at approximately 5,000 and 3,000 respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. However, there are inaccuracies in the data interpretation. For instance, the student mentions that in 2015, both categories showed a downward trend at 'only 500 and 4,000', which does not align with the provided graph. Additionally, the description of the 2014 figures as 'almost similar' is vague. While the overview is clear, the lack of precision in reporting the data points limits the score. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately from the axes and that comparisons are more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'In 2011', 'In 2016', and 'During 2017' are used to guide the reader through the timeline. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'the both open and close' which is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the internal cohesion within sentences could be improved to sound more natural and sophisticated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', and 'downward trend'. However, there are issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'open and close both shop figure level' and 'the figure of the opening shops'. These phrases are repetitive and lack the precision expected at higher bands. The student relies on basic descriptors and struggles with more academic phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations related to data trends and avoiding redundant phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the both open and close showed' and 'open and close both shop figure level recorded'. These errors, while not impeding communication, occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the sentence construction often feels forced or ungrammatical. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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