Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provide information about how many busineses starts and closed in one nation during time period of 2011 to 2018.
Overall, The shop oppening trand starts with the highest and than decreased drastically followed by flactuation. shop closing trand starts with the slight flatuation and in middle shows drametically lower trand.
The highest number of businesses starts in 2011 at around 8500 new shops, than flowed with just 4000 next year. Than again increased the new starting busineses around 6000 followed with the decline and stady flow of new starting shops in one nation.
During the time period of 2011 busineses which closed was at around 6200. with minor fluctuation flow the trand till 2014, after than drastically decreased in closing of shopes and shows dip at approximetly 500. and than drametically increased till 2015 at around 5000. after that seen stady trand and closed at around 5000 in 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main trends and provided data points for both shop openings and closures. However, the response lacks a clear overview of the overall relationship between the two trends, which is essential for a high score. While you mention the 'highest' and 'lowest' points, the description of the trends is somewhat repetitive and lacks analytical depth. To improve, ensure you group data logically rather than listing years sequentially, and focus on comparing the two categories (e.g., noting when closures exceeded openings) rather than just describing them in isolation. The summary is present but could be more effectively integrated into the introduction or as a distinct paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical (e.g., 'Than again', 'after that'). There is a lack of variety in linking words, and some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making the progression of ideas feel somewhat disjointed. To improve, try using a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'subsequently', or 'meanwhile' to better connect your observations and show the relationship between the data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but is limited and repetitive. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'busineses', 'oppening', 'trand', 'flactuation', 'drametically', 'stady') which occasionally make the text difficult to read. You rely on basic descriptors like 'highest' and 'decreased'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your spelling is accurate, as these errors distract from the clarity of your report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('busineses starts', 'trand starts'), incorrect verb tenses ('busineses which closed was'), and missing articles or prepositions. These errors are noticeable and sometimes impede the flow of information. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of past tense verbs when describing historical data. Proofreading for common errors like 'shopes' (shops) and 'than' vs 'then' will also significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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