Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the number of shop closures and openings in a country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, the number of shop openings showed a downword trend over the period. In contrast, the ratio of the newly closured shops started with a slight rise then significantly fell in 2015 before recovering to increase.
Initially, in 2011, around 6,500 shops were closed. After the next two years, closures decreased slightly to around 6,000 in 2012 and increased to about 7,100 by 2013. However, there was a downword trend, dropping significantly to about 600 in 2015. After that, in 2016, it rose again to roughly 5,100 shops. the end of the period remained stable trend with approximately 5,000 closures in 2017 and 2018.
In comparison, the country experienced around 8,500 shop opening at the beginning of the period. However, in 2012, there was a sharply decrease to about 4,000. From 2012 to 2014, it increased steadily, reaching around 6,100 in 2014. But in 2015, it fell to about 4,000. Following this trend in 2016 and 2017, the number of opening stable , at around 4,000 and 4,100, respectively. Finally, this figure was decline to approximately 3,000 in the end of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the general decline in openings and the fluctuating nature of closures. You have successfully selected key data points to support your description. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you describe a drop to '600' in 2015 for closures, whereas the graph shows a figure closer to 6,000. Additionally, the term 'ratio' is used incorrectly, as you are describing absolute numbers rather than proportions. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the axes and labels to avoid misinterpreting the data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on closures and openings respectively. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Initially', and 'In comparison' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'the end of the period remained stable trend', which lacks a clear subject. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within sentences could be improved by ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that transitions are used more naturally to link ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'fluctuating', and 'steadily'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'downword' instead of 'downward', and word choice issues, such as 'closured' (should be 'closed') and 'sharply decrease' (should be 'sharp decrease'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends and ensure correct word forms are used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and articles (e.g., 'the number of opening stable' instead of 'the number of openings remained stable'). There are also issues with sentence construction, such as 'the end of the period remained stable trend', which is grammatically incomplete. While these errors rarely prevent the reader from understanding the main point, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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