Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph compares the number of shop closures and openings in a country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, a significant number of new shop opening showed a downward trend throughout the year, whereas shop closures fluctuated considerably the most noticeable feature is the sharp fall in closures in 2015, after it remained stable.
In the beginning, a number of new shop opening started from 85,000, compared with about 65,000 of closures. The number of shop opened significantly declined around 4,000 in 2012 before increasing around 6,000 in 2014 and it declined again, remained constant between 2015 and 2017 and falling further around 3,000 in 2018.
Regarding shop closures, it started from around 65,000 in 2011, and decreased slightly in 2012 and then rose to its peak about 7,000 in 2013 before falling in 2014. In 2015, fall rapidly around 500 and it was the lowest point of the graph, before increasing and it remained stable around 5,000 in 2018. In summary, number of shop opening decreased gradually over the period and shop closures showed fluctuation but ended at higher level than opening.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and key data points. You successfully identified the downward trend for openings and the fluctuations in closures. However, there are significant inaccuracies in your data reporting. For example, you state that closures reached a peak of '7,000' in 2013 and a low of '500' in 2015, which does not align with the provided graph (which shows figures in the tens of thousands). These misinterpretations of the scale hinder the accuracy of your summary. To improve, ensure you carefully read the axes and units before drafting your report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'in the beginning', and 'in summary' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'the most noticeable feature is the sharp fall in closures in 2015, after it remained stable', which lacks a proper conjunction or punctuation to connect the clauses. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when referring back to the trends. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'downward trend', and 'remained constant'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'a number of new shop opening' (should be plural 'openings') and 'declined around 4,000' (should be 'by 4,000'). There is also a lack of precision in describing the data, which limits your score. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'plummeted' or 'marginal', and ensure your nouns and verbs agree in number.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('a number of new shop opening started') and preposition usage ('declined around 4,000'). Some sentences are run-on or lack necessary punctuation, such as the second sentence in the overview. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical errors, specifically pluralisation and the correct use of prepositions when describing numerical changes.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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