Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graphs shows the number of shops the closed and new shops for the given time period between 2011 and 2018.
overall, there are three different types of shop closures and opening. According to the shop closure stated with the highest in 2011 and slowly decreased to a sequences.
The opening shops while it was lowest in the opening year , while moving towards passing years it will increases the data fluency again falls the to the lowest in the middle of the time period.
IN conclusion, the difference between the opening shops are newly highest compares to the both the difference in the given time period of 2011 to 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While the student attempts to identify trends, the description is fragmented and lacks the necessary detail to fully report the main features of the graph. The data is presented in a confusing manner, and there is no clear comparison of the two categories (closures vs. openings) across the years. The summary is underdeveloped, and the lack of sufficient length prevents a comprehensive analysis of the provided data, leading to a low score for task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks a logical structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed and difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the awkward transition 'IN conclusion' which does not logically follow the preceding text. The progression of information is unclear, and the relationship between the sentences is often confusing, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the intended meaning of the trends described.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. Phrases like 'data fluency' and 'sequences' are used incorrectly in this context, suggesting a lack of understanding of how to describe statistical trends. There is significant repetition of basic words like 'shops', 'opening', and 'closing'. The student struggles to use precise terminology required for describing graphs, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined'. The limited range of vocabulary makes it difficult to convey the information clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'line graphs shows'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the difference between the opening shops are newly highest'). The use of complex structures is attempted but results in ungrammatical and confusing sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent. The high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read and understand, indicating a lack of control over basic sentence structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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