Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph shows in the time frame of 2011 to 2018 the number of shops closed and opened in a country.
In 2011, almost 8600 shops were closed and 6500 new shops were opened. But, in 2012 the number the shops closed was decreased significantly as compared to the last year, it almost decreased to 4000. Also, the number of shops opened in this year mildly decrease about 6000 new shops were opened.
In 2013, the new opened shops rate increased significantly, almost 13 percent than the last year. The closed shops number was also increased but, it is unremarkable as compared to the number of shops opened in this year.
However, this graph shows almost equal number of shops opened and closed in 2014.
If we look closely, in this graph a massive number of shops decreased in 2015, which was opened as compared to shops closed in 2015 was 4000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify key trends, the description of the data is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the comparison between closures and openings in 2015 is confusingly phrased. To reach a higher band, ensure that you provide a clear overview of the main trends rather than just listing year-by-year changes. Additionally, ensure that all data points are accurately interpreted; for instance, the mention of '13 percent' is not supported by the graph provided. Focus on grouping data logically to highlight the overall movement of the trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the chronological progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'However, this graph shows...' is used to introduce a point that does not necessarily contrast with the previous sentence. Furthermore, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the relationship between the figures is difficult to follow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. While you attempt some descriptive language, such as 'unremarkable' and 'significantly', these are sometimes used in contexts that feel slightly unnatural or imprecise. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'a sharp decline', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate to avoid confusion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('the number the shops closed was decreased'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('the new opened shops rate'). Some sentences are poorly constructed, making the intended meaning difficult to grasp, such as the final sentence of the essay. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice, which is essential for describing data. Proofreading for basic sentence structure errors will help you achieve a more professional and accurate tone.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.