Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the graph presented below showcases the evolution of the number of shop closures and openings from year 2011 till the year 2018
this graph proves that the number of shop closures and openings has decreased across the duration of 7 years starting from 2011
The number of shop openings decreased significantly from 8500 shops to 4000 shops between the year 2011 and 2012 then shot back up from 4000 shops to about 6000 shops 2 years later.And starting from the year 2014 it started decreasing steadily till it reached 3000 shops in the year 2018
the number of shop closures stayed rather constant averaging between 6000 shops and about 7000 shops during the year 2011 till the year 2014
but then plummeted greatly reaching nearly 800 shops in 2015 then increased significantly to become 5000 shops in 2016 and then stayed constant at this number
in conclusion this graph highlights the decrease in number of shop closures and openings between the years 2011 and 2018 and the huge decrease in the number of shop closures during 2015
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. However, the overview is somewhat weak; stating that both categories 'decreased across the duration' is an oversimplification, as the data shows significant fluctuations and periods of stability. While you have identified key features, the analysis lacks a clear comparison between the two categories, which is a requirement of the task. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant trends rather than just a general summary, and explicitly compare the shop openings and closures where the data intersects or shows contrasting patterns.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the lack of punctuation makes the flow difficult to follow. There is a noticeable absence of cohesive devices (e.g., 'however', 'subsequently', 'in contrast'), which makes the progression of ideas feel mechanical. Each sentence starts abruptly, and the lack of full stops or commas between clauses forces the reader to pause unnecessarily. To improve, use a wider range of linking words to connect your sentences and ensure that your paragraphing clearly separates the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'number of' and 'shops'. You have used some appropriate descriptive verbs like 'plummeted' and 'steadily', which is positive. However, the range is limited, and there are no attempts at more sophisticated or precise academic collocations. To reach a higher band, try to vary your vocabulary by using synonyms for 'decrease' (e.g., 'decline', 'dip', 'drop') and 'increase' (e.g., 'climb', 'surge', 'rise') to avoid repetition and demonstrate a broader lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The most significant issue is the lack of punctuation. The entire text is missing full stops, commas, and capital letters at the start of sentences, which makes the writing difficult to read and impacts the grammatical accuracy score. While you have attempted some complex sentence structures, the lack of basic punctuation means that even simple sentences are technically incorrect. To improve, focus on basic sentence structure: ensure every sentence ends with a full stop and begins with a capital letter. Once this is mastered, work on using commas to separate clauses and lists.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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