Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail and Healthcare showed an upward trend over the period. In contrast Manufacturing fluctuated while Agriculture declined.
Looking at the first Manufacturing it stood at 15 million job in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980. On the other hand in 1960 the about 5 million number of job sectors like Agriculture fall down in 1980 it reached approximately 4 million, however it remained steady form 1980 to 2000 and than it started dropping again.
In terms of Retail, The figure started to rising up in 1960 than it were spiked in 1980 with 20 million of job sectors, nevertheless, it than fell gradually between 1980 to 2020. In contrast healthcare started to climbing up dramatically in 1960 about 6 million of job employment figures than it reached roughly 15 million of job market in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 2.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0
The response fails to address the task prompt. The instructions clearly ask for a summary of a graph showing shop closures and openings between 2011 and 2018. However, the student has written about employment sectors in the United States from 1960 to 2020. Because the content is entirely irrelevant to the provided graph, the response cannot be assessed as a successful completion of the task. Even if the content were relevant, the data reporting is inaccurate and lacks the necessary focus on key features and comparisons required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by the fact that the information presented does not relate to the prompt. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast' and 'On the other hand', but they are often used mechanically or incorrectly in the context of the sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the overall flow is disjointed due to the lack of a coherent connection between the introduction and the subsequent body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student frequently uses phrases like 'number of job sectors' and 'job employment figures' in an unnatural way. There are significant issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'started to rising up' and 'reached roughly 15 million of job market'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate precision, and the errors in word formation and usage are frequent, which occasionally makes the intended meaning difficult to follow.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are consistent issues with verb tenses and forms, such as 'it were spiked', 'it than fell', and 'started to climbing up'. Sentence structures are often awkward or incomplete, and there is a lack of control over basic punctuation and subject-verb agreement. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are almost always marred by errors, resulting in a very limited range of accurate structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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