Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graphs illustrate the shops that launched or closed in a country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, it is clear that both graphs experienced a downward trajectory, while the number of shops opened declined more than the cease trading over a period of 7 years.
In 2011, around 6500 shops were closed and this figure fluctuated till 2014, just after that it was sharply declined to almost above 500 in 2015 then rose considerably in the following year to remain stable at approximately just over 5000 at the end of the period.
Similarly, the shops launched in 2011 were roughly 8500, higher than those closed shops, but they eventually decreased dramatically in the next year to just 4000 and they remained stable till 2017 before increasing to 6000 in 2015. Moreover, it just remained 3000 in the 2018 which was the lowest figure in comparison to both line graphs, that ends up at around 5000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies key trends, such as the overall downward trajectory. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains significant inaccuracies. For instance, you mention a sharp decline to 'above 500' in 2015, whereas the graph shows a decline to 5000. Furthermore, the description of the 'shops launched' trend is confusing and contradicts the visual data, particularly regarding the 2015 and 2018 figures. While the main features are selected, the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the data points cited align exactly with the graph provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Similarly,' 'Moreover,' and 'in comparison to' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas within the second body paragraph is somewhat disjointed due to the confusing data reporting. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the specific trends being described. Improving the clarity of your comparisons and ensuring that each sentence flows logically from the previous one would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trajectory,' 'fluctuated,' and 'remained stable.' However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'cease trading' used as a noun phrase and 'shops that launched.' Additionally, there are minor inaccuracies in phrasing, such as 'just after that it was sharply declined.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are grammatically appropriate for the context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'it was sharply declined' (passive voice error) and 'it just remained 3000 in the 2018' (article and preposition usage). There are also issues with tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the text. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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