Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This graph illustrates the multiple shops that are shutdown and variety of new shops are opened in one country from 2011 to 2018.
It seems that more shops are opened in early years however, their level decreased in last years. At the start, both opening and closing ratio of shops are high but there is gradually decrease in next years .
The closing of shops are very limited in the mid of these years.
In 2011, the opening and closing number of shops are approximately more than 8000 and 6000 respectively. In 2015, the number of closed shops are 1000 which is very lowest numbers. Then suddenly increase in closed number of shops, and then it is equal in number for next years 2016, 2017 and 2018.
On the other hand, the number of opening shops are decreased to 4000 in 2012 and then a small raised in number in 2014 but it remains about 4000 in mostly next years and again decreased in last year 2018
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a general overview of the trends, but it lacks precision in reporting data. While you identify the start and end points, the description of the trends is often vague, such as 'very limited' or 'small raised'. You successfully highlight the main features, such as the decline in openings and the fluctuation in closures, but the analysis of the data is inconsistent. For instance, stating that closures were 'equal in number for next years 2016, 2017 and 2018' is inaccurate based on the graph. To improve, ensure that you provide specific data points to support your observations and avoid generalizations that do not align with the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. Phrases like 'At the start' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the transition between ideas within paragraphs is sometimes abrupt. The referencing is also occasionally unclear; for example, 'their level decreased' is ambiguous as it is not immediately clear if 'their' refers to the shops or the number of shops. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'multiple shops', 'shutdown', and 'small raised', which are not always used in the correct context. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'opening and closing ratio' when referring to raw numbers, and 'very lowest numbers' which is grammatically awkward. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'a marginal increase'. Expanding your range of collocations will help you express trends more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the opening and closing number of shops are', 'the number of closed shops are') and incorrect verb forms ('variety of new shops are opened'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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