Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, it is evident that the number of shop closures and openings fluctuated significantly over the period. The number of shop opening dropped substantially in 2015 but able to rebound next year. Similarly, the figure of shop closures suffer the same fate, the number dropped considerably in 2012 before rally back moderately. However, the number continue to declined gradually over the years.
According to the graph, initially the number of new shops that closed start at approximately 8500 in 2011,before cut in half to 4000 in 2012. However, the number rebound to 6000 in 2014 but proceed to decline 4000 in the next year 2015 and finally dropped to 3000 in 2018.
Regarding the number of shops that closed, the figure peaked from 6000 in 2012 to 7100 in 2013. Afterward, the figure plummeted heavily from 7100 in 2013 to roughly 600 in 2015 before recovering to approximately 5100 in 2016.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for both shop closures and openings. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that closures 'peaked from 6000 in 2012 to 7100 in 2013' and then 'plummeted... to roughly 600 in 2015', which does not align with the provided graph. Additionally, the overview is somewhat generic and fails to highlight the most significant contrast between the two categories. To improve, ensure that data points are transcribed precisely and that the overview synthesizes the most striking differences or trends rather than just stating that figures fluctuated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Similarly', and 'Afterward' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the inaccurate data reporting, which makes the comparison confusing. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the subject of the sentences becomes ambiguous. Improving the logical flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to connect accurate information will help raise your score.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'fluctuated', 'substantially', 'rebound', and 'plummeted'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'suffer the same fate' (which is slightly informal/dramatic for a report) and 'rally back moderately'. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'the number continue to declined'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary choices are consistently appropriate for a formal report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the number continue to declined') and tense inconsistencies ('the number of new shops that closed start at'). Additionally, there are missing articles and awkward phrasing, such as 'the figure of shop closures suffer the same fate'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall clarity. Focusing on proofreading for basic tense and agreement errors would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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