Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The information about the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country from 2011 to 2018 is demonstrated by polyline graph.
Overall, it is crystal clear that the highest number of shops in openings. However, the least was in closures.
To begin with, the highest count of shops regarding openings in 2011 was 85000. Whereas, 800 number of shops about closures in 2015, which could be considered as the lowest figure. In addition, the similar count of shops related to closures and openings in 2014 was approximately 6500. Surprisingly, 5200 count of shops regarding closures in 2018, which was 2200 more than the openings.
Moving towards the rest of the information, the count of shops about closures throughout the given time period was ranged between 6200 and 7200. Furthermore, the number of shops regarding openings in 2015 and 2016 was 4000 and 4000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the graph but fails to accurately report the main features. The overview is confusing and factually incorrect, as it claims the highest number of shops was in 'openings' while the data shows significant fluctuations. Furthermore, the specific data points provided are often inaccurate or poorly interpreted, such as the claim that 85,000 shops opened in 2011, which is not supported by the graph. The report lacks a clear, logical selection of data, and the comparison between closures and openings is inconsistent. To improve, you must ensure that the figures cited match the graph precisely and that the overview highlights the most significant trends rather than making vague, inaccurate statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'Moving towards the rest of the information,' which does not effectively transition between ideas. The sentences within paragraphs often feel disconnected, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trend of the data. While there is some attempt at paragraphing, the lack of clear logical flow between the overview and the supporting details hinders the overall coherence of the response. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'count of shops' are used repeatedly, which makes the writing feel monotonous. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'demonstrated by polyline graph' (missing an article) and 'the highest number of shops in openings' (unnatural phrasing). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider variety of reporting verbs and nouns related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'a significant decline,' and ensure these are used in natural, grammatically correct contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'by polyline graph'), sentence fragments (e.g., 'Whereas, 800 number of shops about closures in 2015'), and awkward sentence structures. The range of grammatical structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of control over basic grammar and the presence of errors in almost every sentence prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions and articles will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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