Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the number of shop closures and openings in a nation between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the number of shops that newly opened is significantly high in 2011 and then decreased sharply after one year. Meanwhile, the number of shops that closed fluctuated over the period.

From the line graph, the proportion of new shops that opened stood at the highest level, approximately 8500, in 2011, and then it declined to nearly 3900 in 2012. Subsequently, it increased to roughly 6100 in 2014 and then it went downward to 3000 in 2018, which was the lowest compared with other years, the number of new shops that opened.

According to the line graph, the number of shops closed in a country was round about 6500, in 2011 and then it surged to nearly 7200 in 2013. In contrast, it declined to approximately 700 in 2015, which was the lowest number of shops closed compared with the other years and then after that, it increased to nearly 5200 in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key features, such as the initial high point for openings and the fluctuating nature of closures. However, the analysis could be improved by making more direct comparisons between the two categories at specific points in time, rather than describing them in separate paragraphs. For instance, noting that closures overtook openings in 2012 would have strengthened the analytical aspect of your report. The data points are generally accurate, though ensure that the distinction between the two categories remains clear throughout the text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Meanwhile', 'Subsequently', and 'In contrast'. However, the transition between the final sentence of the third paragraph and the rest of the text is slightly awkward, and some sentences feel a bit repetitive in their structure. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus that flows naturally into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'surged', and 'proportion' appropriately. However, there are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'round about' and 'went downward', which are better expressed with more precise academic vocabulary. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on more precise collocations and avoiding informal expressions will help improve your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some minor grammatical errors, such as the comma usage in '6500, in 2011' and the slightly fragmented structure in the final sentence of the third paragraph. Additionally, some sentences could be more concise. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on punctuation accuracy and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed without unnecessary clauses will lead to better control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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