Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the proportion of shop closures and openings in a nation between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the number of newly opened shops was significantly high in 2011 and then decreased sharply after one year. Meanwhile, the number of shops that closed was minimum and fluctuated over the period.

From the line graph, the number of newly shops stood at the highest level approximately 8,600 in 2011 and then it declined to nearly 3,900 in 2012. Subsequently, it increased to roughly 6,100 in 2014 and then it went downward to 3,000 in 2018, which was the lowest compared with the number of new shops opened in other years.

According to the line graph, the number of shops closed in a country was around 6,500 in 2011 and then surged to nearly 7,200 in 2013. In contrast, it declined to approximately 700 in 2015, which was the lowest number of shops closed compared with the other years, and then after that it increased to nearly 5,200 in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided relevant data points to support your description. The overview clearly highlights the contrasting patterns between shop openings and closures. However, the task requires you to report on the 'number' of shops, but you incorrectly used the word 'proportion' in the introduction, which refers to percentages rather than raw figures. Additionally, while you mention the highest and lowest points, the comparison between the two categories could be more integrated. For instance, noting that closures were generally higher than openings in the latter half of the period would have strengthened the analysis. Overall, the response covers all requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on openings and closures respectively. You use cohesive devices such as 'meanwhile', 'subsequently', and 'in contrast' to guide the reader through the data. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the data more effectively to facilitate direct comparisons rather than treating the two categories in isolation. The progression of ideas is clear, and the information is easy to follow throughout the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'surged', 'declined', 'fluctuated', and 'went downward'. While these are appropriate, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'newly shops' (should be 'new shops' or 'newly opened shops') and 'minimum' (which is an adjective; 'at a minimum' or 'minimal' would be more accurate). The vocabulary is generally functional and allows for clear communication, but it lacks the more sophisticated collocations or precise academic phrasing that would elevate the score to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the use of relative clauses ('which was the lowest...'). There are some grammatical errors, particularly with word order and article usage, such as 'newly shops' and 'in a country' (the graph refers to 'one country', so 'the country' would be more precise). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the data. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct adjective/adverb placement, as well as refining the use of articles in academic writing.

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