Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph represents the information about the numerous shop closures and openings in one country between 2011 and 2018. With this, it can be observed that the numerical data ranges from 0 to 9,000.
Overall, it can be noticed that the number of shops opened and closed shows a downward trend and fluctuations over the given period.
To commence with, the number of shops closed were more than the number of shops closed at inception, which was about 8,500 and 6,500 respectively. Moreover, the number of shops opened showed an upward trend in 2013 of over 7000 which later showed a dramatic fall to almost 0 in 2015.
Additionally, the number of shops closed declined to 4000 in 2012 and later escalated to 6000 in 2014 which also fluctuated after. Moreover, it ended with a fall of 3000 in 2018. On the other hand, the number of shops opened ascended to 5000 in 2016 which remained constant at the end.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for both shop closures and openings. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and lacks precision in reporting data points. For instance, the statement 'the number of shops closed were more than the number of shops closed at inception' is confusing and inaccurate. Furthermore, the description of the trends is occasionally vague, such as 'which also fluctuated after'. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that all comparisons are clearly articulated and that the data points cited are accurate and directly linked to the years provided in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally hindered by imprecise phrasing. For example, the transition between the description of closures and openings in the third paragraph is slightly disjointed. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that referencing is consistently clear would enhance the coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing for the description of trends (e.g., 'downward trend', 'fluctuations', 'escalated', 'ascended'). However, there is some repetition of basic verbs and nouns. Some word choices are slightly unnatural or imprecise, such as 'at inception' to describe the starting year of a graph. There are no significant spelling errors, but the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and use more precise collocations to describe statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies. For example, 'the number of shops closed were' should be 'was' (subject-verb agreement). Additionally, the phrase 'which later showed a dramatic fall to almost 0 in 2015' is grammatically sound, but other parts of the text suffer from awkward phrasing. Punctuation is generally correct, but the overall control of complex structures is inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining sentence construction will help improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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