Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart illustrates the number of shops which closed and the figure of new shops that opened in a specific country over the period between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, more new shops opened rather than closures shops, while news shops openings numbers significantly decreased. Furthermore, closures shops figure increased, but after some years this trend dramatically declined. After that closures shops numbers surged.
To begin with, news shops had the highest numbers of openings at 8,500 in 2011, compared to only 6,500 closures shops. It dramactically declined to 4,000 openings shops in 2012. Closures slightly decreased to 6,000 in 2012. Furthermore, then closures number surged to 6,500 in 2013. However, openings number rose to 6,000 in 2014.
Turning to the next details, most dramatic decrease seen in closures shops which reached at 500 in 2015, whereas this trend significantly jumped to 5,000 in 2016. openings number steadily dropped to 3,000 in 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides an overview and selects key data points, but the reporting is inconsistent. While you identify the main trends, the description of the data is sometimes inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that 'more new shops opened rather than closures' which is not consistently supported by the graph. Additionally, some data points are misread or lack clarity, such as the mention of '500' in 2015, which does not align with the visual representation. To improve, ensure you carefully verify the figures against the axes and provide a more precise summary of the trends, focusing on the most significant fluctuations rather than listing every minor change.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'After that closures shops numbers surged' and 'Turning to the next details'. These transitions feel forced rather than natural. Furthermore, the logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by repetitive phrasing and unclear referencing. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one, avoiding repetitive sentence structures.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is repetitive and lacks precision. You frequently use phrases like 'closures shops' and 'openings shops', which are grammatically incorrect and unnatural. There are also spelling errors such as 'dramactically'. To improve, you should learn the correct collocations for describing data, such as 'the number of shop closures' rather than 'closures shops'. Expanding your range of verbs and adverbs—such as using 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'gradually'—would help you describe the trends more effectively and demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include incorrect word order (e.g., 'closures shops figure'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors. For instance, 'most dramatic decrease seen in closures shops' is missing an auxiliary verb. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and article usage to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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