Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph depicts the total number of new shops opened and the number of shops closed in one country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, both the number of shops closed and opened in the time period fluctuated. Meanwhile, both of them declined at the end of the period compared to the starting year.
The number of shop closure in 2011 was around 8500, which had a significant drop of more than half and fell around 3900 in 2012. Moreover, from 2012 there was a steady increase of shop openings, which continued till 2014 reaching near 6100. However, in 2015, the figure again fell to 4000 and leveled-off until 2017, when it experienced a slight increase to 4100. Lastly, in 2018 the downward trend continued and shop closure was at its lowest about 3000.
On the other hand, shop opening in 2011 stood around 6300, which decreased in 2012, before reaching its peak in 2013 near 7100. A sharp trend came from 2014 to 2015, when it plunged to just about 500. In 2016, the figure sky rocketed to reach about 5100, and stayed stable until 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. However, there are some inaccuracies in the reporting of the data. For instance, you mention a 'sharp trend' from 2014 to 2015 where openings 'plunged to just about 500', but the graph shows the figure for openings in 2015 was actually around 4000. Additionally, the description of the trends is sometimes confusing, such as when you discuss shop closures in the third paragraph but then switch to discussing openings in the final paragraph. To improve, ensure that your data extraction is precise and that you clearly distinguish between the two categories throughout the report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Lastly' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is occasionally hindered by the confusion between the two categories mentioned in the task achievement section. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring that the subject of each sentence is clearly linked to the data being described. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow would benefit from more sophisticated transitions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'declined', 'steady increase', and 'plunged'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'shop closure' (should be plural 'closures') and 'sky rocketed' (should be one word 'skyrocketed'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the inaccuracies in data reporting slightly undermine the precision of your lexical choices. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your vocabulary is consistently accurate when describing trends and data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of shop closure' (should be 'closures'), 'fell around 3900' (missing preposition 'to'), and 'stayed stable' (could be 'remained stable'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You have attempted to use complex structures, but they are not always error-free. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing numerical data will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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