Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the given line graph showed the number of shops that closed and opend in one ountry between 2011 and 2018. In the folling paragraph, I will make a report on it.
to begin with, In 2011 6,000 shops was closed and the closed number started decrease in 2012 aound 6,000. Afterthis, the closing rate slightly changed upto 7,000 in 2013 and followed by in 2014 it was stuck between 7,000 and 6,000. Then, the closed shops drametically dereased in 2015 was blow 1,000. Moreover, in 2016 to 2018 the closeing range was stable aound 5,000.
In addition, the opening number of new shops was highest between 8,000 to 9,000. While, in 2012 it dreased modratelly around 4,000. Beside, in 2013 to 2014 the new shopes range was 5,000 and 6,000. Furthermore, in 2015 and 2017 the new shops range was stable and it decreased in 2018 at 3,000.
Overall, the opening and closing range of shops was peak in starting but in 2015 it showed maxmimun closing number.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the main features of the graph, but the information is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, you state that closures were 'below 1,000' in 2015, whereas the graph shows a significant peak in closures that year. Additionally, the overview is weak; it fails to clearly highlight the most significant trends, such as the inverse relationship between openings and closures in certain years. The description of data points is inconsistent, and the lack of precision in reporting figures makes it difficult for the reader to follow the trends accurately. To improve, focus on identifying the 'big picture' trends first and ensure that the data cited matches the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is frequently interrupted by unclear referencing and mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'Afterthis' and 'Beside' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of information. The relationship between ideas is often disjointed, making it hard to follow the comparison between shop openings and closures. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, they are often misused or repetitive. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words correctly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'number', 'range', and 'closed'. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as 'opend', 'folling', 'drametically', 'dereased', 'modratelly', 'shopes', and 'maxmimun'. These errors, combined with awkward phrasing like 'the closed number started decrease', impede the clarity of your writing. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary to include more precise terms for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged') and pay closer attention to spelling and word formation to ensure your writing appears professional and accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that often affect readability. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., '6,000 shops was closed') and tense usage. Sentence structures are generally simple and often lack correct punctuation. For example, 'In 2011 6,000 shops was closed and the closed number started decrease in 2012 aound 6,000' is grammatically fragmented and confusing. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect prepositions. Increasing the use of complex sentence structures will also help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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