Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides the comparative trend between two aspects in a country from 2011 to 2018: the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened.

Overall, at the start of the period, more shops were opened as compared to the closing of shops. During the whole period, a lot of fluctuations occurred from time to time, and both categories overlapped the other, but at the end, the closure of shops led to a significant difference.

In 2011, opening of shops accounted for about 8500, while closure was approximately 6500. After one year, closed shops showed a slight decrease and moved to 6000 but surpassed the opening category, while the opening of shops class showed a significant decline from 6000 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012. In 2013, the opening and closing of the shops accounted for 5000 and 7100, respectively. Although the opening of shops followed the significant increment and climbed to 6100, the closure of shops had a downward trend with around 6200.

In 2015, the closure of shops showed a sharp decline from around 6100 to around 600. Closure of shops had a slight decline and moved to 4000 in 2015. In 2016 and 2017, the opening of shops category had plateaued growth, while closure surpassed the opening class in 2016 and moved to around 5000. In 2016 and 2017, closure had slight fluctuations and had about 5000 at the end of the period, while openings had a slight decline in 2018 and stayed at 3000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the initial state and the final outcome. You successfully highlighted key features, such as the fluctuations and the eventual divergence between the two categories. However, the data reporting is inconsistent. For instance, in the third paragraph, you mention a 'significant decline from 6000 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012' for openings, but the graph shows a different trajectory. Additionally, the description of 2015 contains contradictory figures ('sharp decline to 600' followed by 'moved to 4000'). Accuracy in data representation is crucial for this task. Ensure you double-check the figures against the graph to avoid misinterpretation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different time periods. You use cohesive devices such as 'In 2011', 'After one year', and 'Although' to guide the reader through the timeline. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the description of the 2015 data where the sequence of events is confusing. Improving the flow between sentences would help the progression of ideas feel more natural and less like a list of isolated data points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'plateaued', 'increment', and 'surpassed'. These words are appropriate for describing trends in a graph. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'opening of shops class' and 'opening of shops category', which sound slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the use of 'Although' to create subordinate clauses. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('the opening of shops class') and awkward phrasing ('both categories overlapped the other'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, which impacts the overall fluency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately. The errors present do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

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