Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides the comparative trend between two aspects in a country from 2011 to 2018: the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened.
Overall, at the start of the period, more shops were opened as compared to the closing of shops. During the whole period, numerous fluctuations occurred from time to time, and both categories overlapped the other.
In 2011, the opening of shops accounted for about 8500, while closure was approximately 6500. After one year, closed shops showed a slight decrease and moved to 6000 but surpassed the opening category, while the opening of shops class showed a significant decline from 6000 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012. In 2013, the opening and closing of the shops accounted for 5000 and 7100, respectively. Although the opening of shops followed the significant increment and climbed to 6100, the closure of shops had a downward trend with around 6200.
In 2015, the closure of shops showed a sharp decline from around 6100 to around 600. Closure of shops had a slight decline and moved to 4000 in 2015. In 2016 and 2017, the opening of shops category had remained stable, while closure surpassed the opening class in 2016 and moved to around 5000. In 2016 and 2017, closure had slight fluctuations and had about 5000 at the end of the period, while openings had a slight decline in 2018 and stayed at 3000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends and key data points. However, there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you mention a decline to '600' in 2015, which is not supported by the graph, and the description of the 2012 data is confusing and contradictory. While you attempt to make comparisons, the lack of precision in interpreting the figures hinders the overall clarity. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately from the axes and that the summary highlights the most significant trends rather than listing every year in detail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'in 2016 and 2017'. Additionally, some sentences lack logical flow, particularly in the third paragraph where the transition between data points is disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically on the previous one would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific language like 'fluctuations', 'surpassed', and 'downward trend'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'opening of shops class' and 'the opening of shops followed the significant increment'. These phrasing issues occasionally make the text sound unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that word combinations are standard and idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'both categories overlapped the other' and 'the opening of shops category had remained stable'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and refining the use of articles would help improve your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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