Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph provides the comparative trend between two aspects in a country from 2011 to 2018: the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened.
Overall, at the start of the period, more shops were opened as compared to the closing of shops. During the whole period, numerous fluctuations occurred from time to time, and both categories overlapped each other.
In 2011, the opening of shops accounted for about 8500, while closure was approximately 6500. Additionally, after one year, closed shops showed a slight decrease and moved to 6000 but surpassed the opening category, while the opening of shops class showed a significant decline from 6000 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012. In addition, the opening and closing of the shops accounted for 5000 and 7100 in 2013, respectively. Moreover, the opening of shops followed the increase and climbed to 6100; the closure of shops had a downward trend with around 6200.
In 2015, the closure of shops showed a sharp decline from around 6100 to around 600. Furthermore, closure of shops had a slight decline and moved to 4000 in 2015. In 2016 and 2017, the opening of shops category had remained stable, while closure surpassed the opening class in 2016 and moved to around 5000. In 2016 and 2017, closure had slight fluctuations and had about 5000 at the end of the period, while openings had a slight decline in 2018 and stayed at 3000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points. However, the analysis is marred by significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, you state that in 2015, closures dropped to 600, which is not supported by the graph, and your description of the 2012 data is confusing and contradictory. While you attempt to make comparisons, the lack of precision in reading the graph prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that your data points are accurately extracted and that your comparisons clearly highlight the relationship between the two categories throughout the period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore.' However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by confusing sentence structures and inaccurate data reporting. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when describing the fluctuations between the two categories. While the overall structure is coherent, the mechanical use of some linking words and the lack of clarity in the middle paragraphs prevent a higher band. Focus on ensuring that each sentence flows logically from the previous one to improve the overall readability.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'comparative trend,' 'fluctuations,' 'surpassed,' and 'downward trend.' However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'opening of shops class' and 'the opening of shops followed the increase.' These minor inaccuracies do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, try to use more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for describing statistical trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are understandable, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the opening of shops accounted for about 8500' (should be 'the number of new shops opened was about 8,500') and 'the opening and closing of the shops accounted for 5000 and 7100 in 2013, respectively.' These errors, along with issues in article usage and preposition placement, occur throughout the text. While they rarely impede communication, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of numerical data in sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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