Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph provides the comparative trend between two aspects in a country from 2011 to 2018: the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened.

Overall, at the start of the period, more shops were opened as compared to the closing of shops. During the whole period, numerous fluctuations occurred from time to time, and both categories overlapped each other.

In 2011, the opening of shops accounted for about 8500, while closure was approximately 6500. Additionally, after one year, closed shops showed a slight decrease and moved to 6000 but surpassed the opening category, while the opening of shops class witnessed a significant decline from 6000 in 2011 to 4000 in 2012. In addition, the opening and closing of the shops accounted for 5000 and 7100, respectively, in 2013. Moreover, the former followed the increase and climbed to 6100; the latter had experienced a downward trend with around 6200 in 2014.

In contrast, the closure of shops showed a sharp decline from around 6200 in 2014 to around 600 in 2015. Furthermore, the opening of shops had a slight decline and moved to 4000 in 2015. In 2016 and 2017, the new shops category remained stable, while closing surpassed the former class in 2016 and moved to around 5000. In 2017, the closure had slight fluctuations to stay about 5000 at the end of the period, while openings had a slight decline in 2018 and remained at 3000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered the key features, such as the initial higher number of openings and the subsequent fluctuations. However, the analysis of the data points is occasionally inaccurate; for example, you state that in 2012, closures 'surpassed' the opening category, but the graph shows openings at 4000 and closures at 6000, which is correct, but your description of the 2015 data (closures dropping to 600) is a misreading of the graph, which shows a figure closer to 3000. Ensuring precise data extraction is essential for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized into clear paragraphs. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Moreover', and 'Additionally' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of information from the start of the period to the end is logical. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect your points more naturally rather than relying on standard transition words at the beginning of every sentence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'accounted for', and 'downward trend'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'opening of shops class' or 'new shops category remained stable'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. You should aim to use more varied collocations and avoid repeating the same phrases when describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the opening of shops class witnessed' and 'the closure had slight fluctuations to stay about 5000'. Some sentences are slightly awkward in their construction, which occasionally hinders the flow. You have good control over basic structures, but to reach a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and ensure better accuracy in your verb tenses and preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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