Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The combination of line graphs illustrates the information about the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
At the fleeting glance, the highest number of shops were open during 2011, in which approximately 8500 shops were opened. Followed by, during 2018, more then 6000 shops were opened. However, the lowest count of shops were opened during 2011, almost 3000 shops were opened.
Moving ahead, the maximum number of shops were closed during 2018, near about 6100 shops were closed. Moreover, roughly 6000 shops were closed in 2018. But, the minimum number of shops were closed during 2018, nearly 3000.
Overall, there were fluctuations in number of opening and closing of shops.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is incomplete and contains factual inaccuracies. For instance, you state that the lowest number of shops opened was in 2011, but the graph shows the lowest point occurred in 2015. Furthermore, the description of the 2018 data is contradictory, as you mention both 6100 and 3000 as the 'minimum' or 'maximum' in the same year. To improve, ensure you carefully interpret the data points and provide a more comprehensive overview that covers the entire period, rather than focusing on isolated, incorrectly reported figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes confusing, such as 'Moving ahead' and 'At the fleeting glance', which are not standard academic transitions. The referencing is also unclear; for example, in the second paragraph, you mention 'the highest number of shops were open' followed by a figure that does not clearly distinguish between openings and closures. To improve, use clearer linking words like 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', or 'Subsequently' to guide the reader through the data, and ensure each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the same phrasing, such as 'number of shops were opened/closed', which makes the writing monotonous. There are also issues with word choice and collocation; for example, 'At the fleeting glance' is an incorrect idiom—the standard phrase is 'At a glance'. Additionally, 'more then' should be 'more than'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use these terms accurately to describe the movement of the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. There are frequent subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'the highest number of shops were open' (should be 'was'). You also struggle with sentence structure; many sentences are simple and lack the complexity required for higher bands. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement. Practice using complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'While the number of openings peaked in 2011, the number of closures saw a steady increase until 2018') to demonstrate a better range of grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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