Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the figure of shop closures and openings in a country from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, the number of closures and openings of shop showed variable trend, there is no consistent rise or fall in the pattern.

The number of shops opened in 2011 was 8500, this figure dropped dramatically to just below 4000 in 2012. Subsequently, it again rose to 6100 until 2014, after that, this figure again declined to 4000 in 2015. After this period, the number of shops opened remain relatively stable, and it decreased further to 3000 until the end of the period.

In contrast, the figure of shops closed in 2011, stood at 6300, which fell to below 6000 in 2012, subsequently, it increased to approximately 7100 in 2013. In the next year, it decreased slightly to 6500, and it dropped abruptly to only 600 in 2015. In addition to this, it increased again to just above 5000 in 2016, and remained relatively stable in the next years

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task and identifies the main trends. You successfully highlighted the key fluctuations for both shop openings and closures. However, the overview is slightly weak; while you mention a 'variable trend', it would be more effective to highlight the most significant contrast, such as the overall downward trend in openings versus the volatility in closures. Additionally, ensure you provide more comparative language between the two categories rather than just describing them in separate paragraphs. The data points are generally accurate, though the summary could benefit from a more analytical approach to the data provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Subsequently', and 'In addition to this' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the progression of ideas within the paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the years in the second body paragraph is a bit list-like. Improving the variety of linking words would help the response achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'dramatically', and 'relatively stable'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'illustrates the figure of' (should be 'illustrates the number of') and 'showed variable trend' (should be 'showed a variable trend'). The vocabulary is functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and ensure correct article usage with nouns.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of shops opened remain' (should be 'remained') and 'in the next years' (should be 'in subsequent years'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are some comma splices, such as in the second sentence: '...variable trend, there is no consistent...'. You need to ensure subject-verb agreement and improve the control of complex structures to minimize these persistent errors.

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