Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
Overall, it is clear from all the perspective that the highest shops opening in the year 2011 was 8500 and the highest closures was 6500, and after 8 years of period the it declined by 5500 it was at 3000 and the closures was declined by 1300 it was 5200.
To begin with, the shops opened in the year 2011 was the highest which was 8500. Secondly after 2 years it fell to 5000. Moreover after 5 years it got huge declined which was 3000. Further more the shops closures in the year 2011 was 6500. Secondly after 4 years of period it slightly got inclined which was 6700. Lastly again after 4 years of period it got one of the huge declined which was 5100
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main trends, such as the initial figures and the overall decline. However, the analysis is hampered by inaccurate data reporting. For instance, stating that the number of shops opened in 2011 was 8500 is incorrect based on the provided graph, which shows 8500 as the starting point for closures, not openings. Furthermore, the description of the trends is confusing and lacks precision, particularly in the summary of the final figures. The response fails to make meaningful comparisons between the two categories, focusing instead on listing isolated data points. To improve, ensure data is read accurately and trends are described with more analytical depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. However, the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as the repetitive use of 'Secondly' and 'Lastly' to list data points rather than to structure an argument or comparison. The overview is poorly integrated, and the transition between the introduction and the body is abrupt. The referencing is also unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the relationship between the different data points. Better use of linking words to show contrast (e.g., 'in contrast', 'whereas') would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'got huge declined' and 'got one of the huge declined' are grammatically incorrect and lack the precision required for an academic report. The student relies on basic verbs like 'got' and 'was', which do not demonstrate the ability to use more sophisticated or varied language. There is a lack of collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp drop'. To reach a higher band, the student should focus on using more precise verbs and nouns to describe trends and changes in data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the highest shops opening', 'after 8 years of period the it declined', and 'the closures was declined'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and periods. The reliance on basic sentence patterns limits the grammatical range. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of tense when describing past data.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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