Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph shows the comparison between the number of shops closed and number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
In 2011 near about 8500 shops were opened but after some time there was sudden decrease in the number to 4000.however,again new shops were opened and numbers were increased to 6000. but by the passage of time again decrease in the shops ,approx 2000 shops were closed and this number continued for some time and slightly inreased and than again 1000 shops were closed.
In the starting of 2018 the number od shops was around 6400. after some time there was slight decrease in the shop's numbers, and than sudden new shops was opened and the numbers were around 7000 .By the passage of time many shops were closed like the numbers were below 1000,but than slowly new shops were opened ,near about 5000 shops were opened. after that the shops remained relatively stabled.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to describe the data but fails to provide a clear overview or identify key trends. The description is fragmented and lacks a logical structure, making it difficult to follow the comparison between closures and openings. The student describes individual data points rather than summarizing the main features as required by the task. Furthermore, the data interpretation is often confusing, and the distinction between closures and openings is blurred in several places. To improve, you must provide a clear summary of the overall trends in the introduction or as a separate paragraph and ensure that comparisons between the two categories are explicit and accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. While there is some attempt at paragraphing, the internal structure of the paragraphs is disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and repetitive way, such as the frequent use of 'after some time' and 'by the passage of time'. There is a lack of variety in linking words, and the referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to track which data point is being discussed. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices like 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to link ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'new shops were opened' and 'shops were closed' are used repeatedly without variation. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'near about' and 'remained relatively stabled'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied and precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined significantly', or 'remained stable'. Avoid informal or imprecise phrases like 'near about' and focus on using accurate terminology for trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'in the starting of 2018'), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Sentence structures are mostly simple or repetitive, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Errors such as 'numbers were increased' (passive voice misuse) and 'than again' (spelling/usage error for 'then') are common. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and spelling. Increasing the variety of sentence structures by using subordinating conjunctions would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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