Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.0)
the assigned line graph dlineates information regarding that the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country 2011 to 2018.
overall, it is evident that the show a number of shop closures and openings. the lines are increasing and decreasing. many of the shops are closing and opening.
In 2011, closures shop in half of the 6000 were slightly decline and suddenly increase and stop them approximatly 7000. and decreasing in same half of the 6000 and suddenly very highly decline and stop them 500. increasing in point of 5000 and stop them and then not the decrease and not the increase stop them 5000 in 2018.
openings shop are are already decline in point of 4000 of 2012 . increase in point of 6000 in 2014 and suddenly decline in 2015 and straight line starting in 2017. sometime is decline and stop the in 2018 in point of 3000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. The main features are not identified effectively, and the description of the trends is confusing and often contradictory. For instance, phrases like 'slightly decline and suddenly increase' lack precision and do not accurately reflect the data points on the graph. The response lacks a clear overview, and the information provided is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends in shop closures and openings. To improve, focus on identifying the starting and ending points, as well as the most significant fluctuations, using clear, comparative language.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks logical progression and clear paragraphing. While there is an attempt to separate the introduction from the body, the sentences within the body paragraphs are not linked effectively. There is a lack of cohesive devices, and the referencing is often unclear, making the text difficult to follow. The transition between ideas is abrupt, and the overall structure does not facilitate a smooth reading experience. To improve, use linking words such as 'however', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increase', 'decline', and 'stop'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'closures shop' instead of 'shop closures' and 'in point of' used repeatedly to describe numerical values. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with any degree of precision or sophistication. To improve, learn and use specific vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', or 'a significant drop', and ensure you use nouns and verbs in their correct forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'openings shop are are already decline'), incorrect tense usage, and fragmented sentence structures. Many sentences are difficult to parse due to poor syntax and punctuation. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions. Reviewing basic grammar rules will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.