Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

This graph display is the number of shops that closed and other number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Here, this graph high level of shop opening highest is 8500 up and also lawest shop is 1000 less. This gap between 2011 to 2018. That is up and down number of shop opening and closed. Shop closed 4000 are two different different year in 2011. One is 3300 to closed. It is show that in chart. Show number is import

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 86 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. The summary is fragmented and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. While the student attempts to identify some figures, the data is presented in a confusing and inaccurate manner (e.g., '8500 up', 'lawest shop is 1000 less'). There is no meaningful comparison of the two categories (closures vs. openings) over the period. To improve, you must write a clear overview, select key data points to support your description, and ensure the response is sufficiently long to cover all parts of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical organization and progression. There is no paragraph structure, and the sentences are disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the information. Cohesive devices are almost entirely absent, and the referencing is unclear (e.g., 'That is up and down number of shop opening and closed'). The lack of a clear introduction, body, and conclusion prevents the development of a coherent argument or report. To improve, focus on using transition words like 'however', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to link ideas and organize your report into distinct paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to describe the graph accurately. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'lawest' instead of 'lowest' and '3300 to closed' instead of '3300 closures'. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'up and down' instead of 'fluctuated'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information clearly. You should focus on learning specific academic vocabulary for describing data, such as 'increased', 'decreased', 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', and 'peaked'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple, fragmented sentences. There are frequent errors in basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and word order, which often impede communication (e.g., 'This graph display is the number...', 'It is show that in chart'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. The lack of complex structures makes the writing feel very basic. To improve, practice constructing complete, grammatically correct sentences and work on using a variety of sentence types, including complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions like 'although' or 'while'.

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