Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Task-1

The line graph outlines the number of shops that were closed and the number of shops that were newly opened in a country from [redacted phone].

On having a look at the graph, it is clear that in 2011, roughly 8,500 shops were closed and 6500 new shops were opened,while in 2012, the number of shops that closed declined to 4000,whereas after 2012,a gradual increase could be seen in their number and its rose to slightly more than 6000 shops. Interestingly, the figure for new shops reached its peaks in 2013 and accounted for approximately, 7000 in 2013.

A striking illustration of the data is that, the figure of new shops recorded at 6,500 in 2014, before it declined to its all time low 500 in 2015, in contrast the number was stood at 4000 shops that closed in 2015. After that, the number remained relatively similar until 2017. In 2018 it fell to 3000,whereas the number of new shops increased gradually in this period, and get satble in 2016.

Overall, it is clear that the number of new shops fluctuate significantly higher than cl.osed one, while after 2016 both get stable with only exception in the number of closed shops that further decline in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided key data points to support your summary. You covered the period from 2011 to 2018 and made relevant comparisons between shop closures and openings. However, the report lacks precision in some areas; for instance, describing the 2015 data as an 'all time low' of 500 for new shops is slightly inaccurate based on the graph, and the description of the trends in the final paragraph is a bit vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant differences between the two categories throughout the period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of information. You use some cohesive devices such as 'while', 'whereas', and 'in contrast' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the phrase 'A striking illustration of the data is that' is a bit clunky for a report. Additionally, some sentences are run-on or lack clear logical connectors, making the progression feel slightly disjointed in the latter half of the essay. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuate', 'declined', and 'accounted for'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'get satble' instead of 'became stable' and 'closed one' instead of 'closed shops'. The use of 'the figure of new shops recorded at' is also slightly unnatural. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your vocabulary is used in the correct grammatical form. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'the number was stood at' and 'both get stable'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing spaces after commas and unnecessary commas used within sentences. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focusing on consistent verb tense usage and proofreading for basic punctuation errors will help you achieve a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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