Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The chart compares the number of shops that were closed and number of new shops that were opened in one country over a period of 2011 to 2018.
Overall, while the number of closures and openings of shops fluctuated wildly. Whereas, we can see a steady decline in openings of new shop and before showing a gradually increase towards the end of period, the number of closures steadily decrease before showing a significant decline towards the end of the period.
In 2011, around 8500 closing of shops recorded. This figure experienced rapidly decline and reached to 4000 in 2012. After that, it rose steadily, increased to about 6100 in 2014, and afterwards the numbers decline steadily and in 2018, it reached to 3000 which was the lowest point of the decade.
By contrast, the number of openings of shops also vary considerably. Starting from approximately 6300 in 2011, the figure decline slightly to 5900 in 2012. It was recorded that in 2013, it shows a gradually increase, reaching a peak of approximately 7100. After that, the numbers dropped drastically, falling to about 800 in 2015, which was the lowest point of the trend. Then increased dramatically, recorded 5100 in 2016, and remain fairly stable afterwards, it was noted about 5200 in 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the trends. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the lowest points and the general fluctuations. However, the overview paragraph is slightly confusing due to grammatical issues, specifically the use of sentence fragments like 'Whereas, we can see...'. While you have highlighted the key data points, ensure that your summary of trends is more precise. For example, describing the fluctuations as 'wildly' is a bit informal; using more academic descriptors like 'significant volatility' would better suit the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on closures and openings respectively. You use some cohesive devices such as 'By contrast' and 'After that' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, particularly in the second paragraph. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, ensure that your sentences are fully connected rather than relying on fragmented structures, which will help the progression of your ideas feel more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuated', 'drastically', and 'significant decline'. However, there are some repetitive word choices and minor collocation errors, such as 'closing of shops recorded' instead of 'shop closures were recorded'. You also use 'gradually increase' instead of the correct noun form 'gradual increase'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating the same phrases. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and adverbs will help you describe the data with greater sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and word forms (e.g., 'it rose steadily, increased to about 6100' and 'it shows a gradually increase'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments, such as 'Whereas, we can see a steady decline...'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, although they do not completely impede communication. Focusing on consistent tense usage and correct word forms will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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