Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph illustrats the ammount of shops that shut down and the new shop that opened in one country around 2011 and 2018.

Overall, firstly the number of new shops opening decrease then it uprising then again fall and then it"s moderate. However, the closing shops firstly maintain a balance with a little bit ups-down then it infactuate and then it continue same level. And in the middle of this graph both number are match in one year.

First of all, the ammount of new shops opening are fallen down almost 5000 from [redacted phone] within one year. But it over the head again from 2012 to 2014 around 2500 shops. One year passed it"s againg damage the new shops around 2000 in 2014 to 2015. nevertheless it continue the rythm almost three year the same ammount till 2017 but unfortunately it"s decrease 1000 in [redacted phone]. Whatever, the number of shut down shops less fall and then it increase in [redacted phone]. Then it"s again down very notablly from [redacted phone] around 6500 shops its a huge ammount in this graph. Then it againg uprising in [redacted phone]. And then its continue the flow almost three years

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to address the prompt by describing trends in shop openings and closures between 2011 and 2018. However, the response lacks a clear overview and fails to effectively select and report the main features or make precise comparisons. The data is described in a fragmented and confusing way, such as stating 'in the middle of this graph both number are match in one year' without specifying the figures accurately. Furthermore, terms like 'ammount' are used instead of proper data reporting, and the description of specific trends is vague and sometimes contradictory. This places the response firmly at Band 4.5, as it presents information with some inaccuracies and lacks a coherent selection of key features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organization and logical progression are weak. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'First of all', 'nevertheless it continue the rythm', and 'Whatever, the number of shut down shops'. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the links between sentences often fail to guide the reader smoothly through the data. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal coherence is disrupted by confusing transitions and informal, conversational linking phrases ('Whatever', 'First of all'). This corresponds to a Band 4.0 descriptor, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently and cohesive devices are inadequate or inaccurate.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous spelling and word-choice errors that strain the reader. Examples include 'illustrats' for illustrates, 'ammount' for amount, 'uprising' for rising/increasing, 'infactuate' (likely meant fluctuate), and 'notablly'. There is a lack of flexibility in describing statistical trends, relying on simple verbs like 'fall', 'decrease', and 'increase' combined with incorrect prepositional usage or awkward phrasing ('fallen down almost 5000'). These errors restrict the lexical score to Band 4.0, as the vocabulary is limited and contains frequent errors that impede clear communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are frequent errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure, such as 'the number of new shops opening decrease then it uprising then again fall and then it's moderate' and 'it over the head again'. Punctuation is also problematic, including misused quotation marks ('it"s'). These widespread, frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and distort meaning at times, aligning with the Band 4.0 criteria where errors are frequent and grammatical control is weak.

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