Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the summary of shops opening and closing between 2011 to 2018. The solid line represents the closing of shops, whereas the dashed line demonstrates its opening. The number of shops opened in 2011 was approximately 8200, while the number of shops closed in the same year was almost 6200. Almost 8000 shops that opened in 2011 faced a massive decline in their amount and fall back to 4000 shops by the end of 2012. The number of closed shops also represents a decline but it was not as severe as the opening of new shops i.e. only 200. Later on, some more new shops opened and this figure increased by 2000 more shops in 2013 and eventually this number rise back to 6000 shops by the end of 2014. But the alarming point is the number of shops opened in 2014 was approximately equal to the number of shops closed that year. In 2015, less than one thousand new shops opened, and 4000 old shops closed that year and it remained the same in 2016, but a huge amount of new shops opened in 2016 almost 5000 shops. Number os shops opened in next year was almost same but by the end of 2018 only 3000 new shops opened and 5000 old shops closed in the same year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph comparing shop closures and openings between 2011 and 2018. The student successfully reports key data points, such as the initial figures in 2011 (around 8200 openings and 6200 closures) and highlights major fluctuations throughout the period. However, the progression of data is at times dense and difficult to follow due to a lack of clear separation between trends. While the key comparisons are attempted, the analysis would benefit from a more structured overview of the overall trends before diving into specific yearly data. Nonetheless, the task is addressed adequately, earning a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is presented entirely as a single paragraph, which significantly hinders coherence and organization. There is an overall logical sequence following the timeline from 2011 to 2018, but the absence of paragraphing makes the text heavy and difficult to navigate. Cohesive devices are used sparingly or mechanically (e.g., 'Later on', 'But the alarming point', 'In 2015'), and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'it remained the same in 2016'. To achieve a higher band, the student must divide the response into logical paragraphs (such as an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for specific trends) and use a wider variety of cohesive markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating an attempt to describe trends using words like 'decline', 'increase', 'massive', and 'severe'. However, there are notable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'faced a massive decline in their amount' instead of 'number', and a typo ('Number os shops'). The student attempts some less common vocabulary ('alarming point', 'fluctuated'), but these are occasionally strained or imprecise. Spelling and word formation are generally clear enough not to impede communication, but lexical control remains at a Band 6.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and coordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'The number of shops opened in 2011 was approximately 8200, while the number of shops closed in the same year was almost 6200'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'this number rise back' instead of 'rose back', and run-on structures lacking punctuation (e.g., '4000 old shops closed that year and it remained the same in 2016, but a huge amount of new shops opened...'). These errors occasionally cause the reader to reread sentences, placing this response firmly in the Band 5.5 category.

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