Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart demonstrates the proportion of new branded opened shops as well as the number of closing shops in a single country throughout the period from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it is quite evident from the given graph that number of new mart significantly fluctuated over the mention period, while the figure of shop closing has plateau in the beginning, and at the late time in the middle of the given ear it become dramatically decreased for little time, after it become the most substantial figure.
The number of new openings shop began from about 8,500 in 2011, while sharply dropped to exactly 4,000 in 2012, Meanwhile in 2014 it peak to nearly 6,000, whereas gradually declined again to 4,000. Moreover the following two years the shops maintain the same level, while at the end it become the worst of around 3,000 in 2018.
The number of closing shops initiate from 6,400 in 20211, whereas it fluctuated over the next two years and peak at 7,100 in 2013, later in 2014 it proportion gradually fell to 6,500. Furthermore, in the 2015 the closing shops considerably declined to just 700, but it recore its share within the following year and rapidly climb up to 5,100 in 2016, in the remaining years it shows no changes and end with approximately 5,150.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all parts of the task by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph, such as the initial figures, the dramatic drop for closures in 2015, and the overall trends between 2011 and 2018. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting (e.g., stating 'in 20211' or misinterpreting specific data points like the closing shop figures). Furthermore, the overview mentions the trends but lacks complete clarity in expression. It satisfies the core requirements of Task Achievement well enough to achieve a Band 6.0, as it addresses the prompt effectively despite minor inaccuracies in data details.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is arranged into four paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs covering specific data. There is a logical attempt to sequence information. However, cohesion is often faulty or mechanical, with awkward transitions such as 'while at the end it become the worst' and 'later in 2014 it proportion gradually fell'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical overuse of connectors like 'while' and 'whereas' impacts the smooth flow of the text. Paragraphing is adequate, but the overall progression is occasionally hindered by clunky phrasing, placing this firmly at Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for Task 1, including terms like 'fluctuated', 'plateau', 'significantly', and 'substantially'. However, there are noticeable lexical and word formation errors throughout the text, such as 'proportion of new branded opened shops' instead of openings, 'new mart' instead of shops, and typos like 'mention period' instead of mentioned period and 'recore its share' instead of recovered. These errors and instances of imprecise word choice mean the lexical range is somewhat limited and constrained, fitting a Band 5.0 profile.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating clauses using 'while', 'whereas', and relative structures. However, grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and voice. Examples include 'number of new mart significantly fluctuated', 'the figure of shop closing has plateau', 'it become dramatically decreased', and 'the shops maintain the same level' (instead of maintained). Punctuation is also problematic, leading to run-on sentences. These recurring structural errors can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing this at a Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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