Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The image represents closures and openings of stores between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, intially closure of shops decreased significantly, meanwhile opening shops remain stable at the begining, however, in the middle period it dramatically bottomed out.
In 2011, number of shops closure decreased sharply from almost 8,700 to 4000, it again increased to 6200 in year 2014, whereas, new shops fell slightly in the begining. However, it soar to 7,000 by the end of 2011.Later, new shops decreased dramatically to 100 only in year 2015.
Furthermore, shops which shut down fell again from 6000 to 4000 and remain stable for next year.Ultimately, it later again fell by 3000 in year 2018.While, new shops sky rocketed from 100 to 5000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarize the main trends of shop closures and openings, but it suffers from a significant negative impact due to under-length (containing only 119 words against the 150-word minimum requirement). Furthermore, the data reporting is severely inaccurate and confused. For example, the student writes that in 2011 shop closures 'decreased sharply from almost 8,700 to 4000', whereas the actual graph shows closures starting at 6,400. Similarly, the data points for openings and closures are frequently mixed up, misread, or contradict the provided visual data. There is an attempt at an overview, but the factual inaccuracies and failure to meet the minimum word count severely limit the development of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into short paragraphs, but the logical flow and organization are frequently disrupted by confusing statements and abrupt transitions. While some cohesive devices are attempted (such as 'Overall', 'In 2011', 'whereas', and 'Furthermore'), their use is often mechanically forced or grammatically incorrect. Referencing is unclear at times due to the mix-up of data series. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of internal coherence within sentences and paragraphs prevents a clear progression of ideas throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent inaccuracies that stem from poor word choice and confusion over terms. Examples include writing 'opening shops' instead of 'shop openings', 'soar' (used incorrectly as 'soar to 7,000' or 'soar' with past tense mismatch), and 'sky rocketed'. There are also spelling errors like 'intially' and 'begining'. The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate at best, and errors occasionally cause confusion for the reader regarding which trend is being discussed.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in errors. There are frequent tense and verb-form errors, such as 'opening shops remain stable at the begining' (present tense instead of past), 'it soar', and missing plural/singular agreements like 'number of shops closure'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are poorly managed, leading to run-on structures and awkward phrasing ('While, new shops sky rocketed'). These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader.
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