Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given chart demonstrate how fluctuate shops opening and closing happened between 2011 to 2018.
Firstly, In 2011 nearest 9000 shops got closed in campier to 2012.Moreover, for full this need there are 6000 shops were opened however, In 2014 both new shops opening and closing meet at exact same point in chart which is 6000 for all. This flow periodically decreased in 2015 and opening are got extremally below the 1000 and closing was around to 4000 which indicates no changes from 2012 to 2015 for this category.
Mainly the ending years are far better then in between year for both the views. In 2018 it illustrate to note that opening reach normal peak and closing decreased in compare to past two years.
in conclusion, Opening shops were to low in compare to closing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, containing only 135 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the selection and reporting of main features are inaccurate and confused. For instance, the student states that in 2011 'nearest 9000 shops got closed', whereas the data shows approximately 6,400 closures and 8,500 openings. The data points cited throughout the text are largely incorrect or misread (such as claiming both met at 6,000 in 2014 when openings were 6,200 and closures 6,500). There is a lack of a clear, accurate overview and comparisons are poorly executed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks clear logical organization and progression. While the student attempts to sequence the response chronologically using transition words such as 'Firstly' and 'in conclusion', the mechanical and inappropriate use of cohesive devices creates confusion. Paragraphing is weak, resulting in a disjointed structure. Referencing is often unclear, such as 'for full this need', which disrupts the flow of ideas and makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information between the opening and closing trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is extremely limited and repetitious, relying heavily on basic terms like 'shops', 'opened', 'closed', and 'changes'. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'how fluctuate shops opening and closing happened', 'campier to' (instead of compared to), and 'opening reach normal peak'. These lexical inaccuracies frequently impede communication and demonstrate a lack of precision when discussing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent and severe errors that constantly strain reader comprehension. Examples of ungrammatical constructions include 'The given chart demonstrate how fluctuate shops opening and closing happened', 'for full this need there are 6000 shops were opened', and 'Opening shops were to low in compare to closing'. Simple sentences are frequently malformed, and attempts at complex structures fail due to poor syntax, incorrect verb forms, and missing prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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