Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustates the significant number of shops was closed and numerious new shops opened in a country between 2011 ans 2018.

Overall, the two line that shows the opening and closing of shops which show the data of lines. in year 2011, maximun number of shops open which contineous in the mid of these years then the shop whcih goes on constant pace fall dramatically and thn at the end, shop goes up again and obtain the position of these shop shop one trepresented with dotted line and shop two presented with straightline the dotted shop open with a significant numbers afterward slight down below the straightline and again afer some time fall and numerious shops closes then follow the trend to an end.

the straightline was open with around above 6000 shops the it goes up slightly and reach to7000 shops and afterward it fall dramatically and decreases the number of shops around 1000 and then occusionally goes up follow the path after reaching some 5000 which remain constant through out the peroid to 2018

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to address the prompt by describing the overall trends of shop closures and openings between 2011 and 2018. However, the response falls short in terms of clarity and data accuracy. For instance, the student states that the straight line (closures) reached 'around 1000' and mentions specific incorrect figures, misreading the data trends significantly in parts of the body paragraphs. Additionally, the overview paragraph is severely convoluted and lacks a clear summary of the main trends. While some main features are touched upon, the lack of a proper paragraph structure and inaccurate data reporting limit the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is written as one long, dense block of text without proper paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, leading to a confusing read. Phrases such as 'in year 2011, maximun number of shops open which contineous in the mid of these years' demonstrate a breakdown in logical progression and referencing. The lack of standard paragraphing and poor sentence flow significantly hinder the overall coherence of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'illustates', 'numerious', 'contineous', and 'occusionally'. There is little evidence of less common lexical items appropriate for an academic report. Words are often used incorrectly in context, for example, 'obtain the position of these shop shop one trepresented with dotted line'. While the meaning can sometimes be guessed, the lexical range is limited and mistakes are frequent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a lack of simple error-free sentences, and the text consists largely of long, run-on sentences joined poorly by conjunctions and relative clauses. Major errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('the number of shops was closed'), tense confusion, and missing articles. Punctuation is also neglected, with sentences running together. Complex structures are attempted but are almost always faulty.

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