Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph comparev the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country from 2011 and 2018.
Overall, the number of closer shops are high in the begining but decreased in the lowest at the end. The number of opemed shops are stably in the same range but increaed day by day. The comparison of closed and opened are insreased from 2011 to 2018.
The ratio of the closed shops are in upper range that is around 8,500 sops much higherv than opening around 6,200. In 2012-14 closer felt dramatically, in 3,700 in 2012 and stayed around 4,000 - 5,000 till 2014. Openings stayed stable around 5,500-6,500. So in this period, opening were more than clousers.
In 2015, big changes are develop, opening dropped sharply to almost 2,000. clouser and opening both were in the same rane 5,300. In 2015 to 2018, both number remained low, aropund 2,500- 3,700. Clousers slighty less than openings.
In conclusion, the comparison between 2011 to 2018 in one country, number of clousers shops are decreased and opened are stab
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to summarise the main features of the line graph, noting general trends and making some comparisons between shop openings and closures. However, the response contains numerous significant inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, the student states that in 2012-2014 'closer felt dramatically, in 3,700 in 2012' and that 'openings stayed stable around 5,500-6,500', which contradicts the visual data showing fluctuations between 3,000 and 8,500. Furthermore, the final sentence is incomplete, and data points throughout are misread or confused. While there is an attempt to cover all parts of the task, the lack of factual accuracy in reporting the figures prevents the response from achieving a higher band. It satisfies the minimum length requirement, but the underdeveloped and inaccurate reporting places it securely at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is organised into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a truncated conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by confusing statements and abrupt shifts between periods. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes misused, such as 'So in this period' or 'In conclusion, the comparison between 2011 to 2018 in one country, number of clousers shops are decreased and opened are stab'. Referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to follow which data set is being discussed. Paragraphing is attempted, but the overall arrangement lacks clear overall progression and cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. This performance aligns with Band 5.0 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent misspellings and incorrect word forms such as 'comparev', 'closer', 'opemed', 'insreased', 'clousers', and 'aropund'. There is a limited range of vocabulary appropriate for describing graphical data, relying heavily on simple terms like 'high', 'low', 'stayed stable', and 'dropped sharply'. Attempts to use less common lexical items lead to awkward phrasing and severe inaccuracies, which impede communication at times. The persistent spelling errors ('closer' for closures, 'opemed' for opened) further restrict the lexical score to Band 4.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response features a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex or comparative sentences frequently result in serious structural errors and non-sentences (e.g., 'The comparison of closed and opened are insreased from 2011 to 2018' and 'In 2015, big changes are develop, opening dropped sharply'). Subject-verb agreement errors are pervasive, such as 'the number of closer shops are high' and 'opening were more than clousers'. Punctuation is weak, and the final sentence trails off unfinished. These frequent and systematic errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and reflect the descriptors for Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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