Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the number of shops closed in 2011 had fluctuated. It decreased from 9,000 to 4000 a sharp downfall showes. and the the number of closed shope soared from 4000 to 6000 in 2011.Then again showe some decreased again and it was on steady state in some time it fall to 3000.and it was represented by doted line.

In the 2018 opening shope have a good progress.in first it was at slightly increase from 6000 and it show some fluctuation uptill 7000. but there were a shary decline from 7000 to 1000 which was a great fall dawn.its then surged and increasd up to 5000. and then the number of opeing showed plateaued at around 6000 in 2018. in graph it was indicatied by drak black line.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the task by describing the trends for shop closures and openings between 2011 and 2018. However, the data reported contains major inaccuracies and severe contradictions when compared to the visual source. For example, the student states that closures decreased from 9,000 to 4,000 and then soared to 6,000 in 2011, which does not accurately reflect the single annual figures provided in the graph. Furthermore, there is confusion between the lines representing closures and openings, with incorrect descriptions regarding dotted and dark lines. The overview is largely absent or unclear, and the selection of main features is overshadowed by widespread data misinterpretation. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, leading to a band score of 4.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The organization of the text is weak and lacks a clear overall progression. The response is divided into brief paragraphs, but the internal cohesion within these paragraphs is heavily disrupted by disjointed sentences and mechanical transitions such as 'Then again showe some' and 'its then surged'. Referencing is frequently unclear, particularly regarding which line or trend is being discussed at any given moment. Paragraphing is attempted, but the lack of logical sequencing and effective cohesive devices prevents the text from flowing smoothly, resulting in a score of 4.5 for this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very limited and basic, with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'showes', 'shope', 'doted', 'drak', 'indicatied', 'increasd') and incorrect word forms ('downfall', 'fall dawn'). While the student attempts some less common vocabulary items such as 'fluctuated', 'soared', 'surge', and 'plateaued', these are often misused or applied to the wrong data points. The range of vocabulary is barely adequate to communicate simple ideas about the graph, and lexical inaccuracies frequently impede comprehension, corresponding to a band score of 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences are simple or attempt complex forms that result in severe structural errors and fragments (e.g., 'It decreased from 9,000 to 4000 a sharp downfall showes. and the the number of closed shope soared...'). Errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation are pervasive throughout the text. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and distort meaning, placing this performance firmly in the band 4.0 category.

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