Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph line illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, the line rapidly decreased and than incresed marginally, saw noticeable fluctation in garph.
The line decreased sharply from around 8500 to 4000 then jump gradullay and reached at around 6000, experecned a noticeable decrese and line goes flat and reached at 3000.
In addition, the other decrased gradually and then jumped at experiemced a fluctation at around about 7000, then saw dramatically drop and increase substanially and goes flat and stop at 5000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response is severely under-length at only 99 words, failing to reach the 150-word minimum requirement. This directly impacts Task Achievement, as the information is extremely condensed and lacks full development. While the introduction paraphrases the prompt correctly, the overview is vague ('saw noticeable fluctation in garph'), and the body paragraphs fail to clearly distinguish or systematically report the two data series (shop closures and openings). Many data points are misread or poorly referenced (e.g., stating closures dropped to 600 in 2015 when the graph shows around 6,000, or confusing the two lines). Because key trends are incompletely reported and the word count penalty applies, this falls into the Band 4.0 range.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The text is organized into short, basic paragraphs, including a brief introduction, an overview sentence, and two body paragraphs. However, logical progression is weak and cohesion is poorly managed. The use of referencing pronouns ('the other') is confusing because it is unclear which line is being referred to. Cohesive devices are minimal or misused (e.g., 'In addition, the other decrased...'). Paragraphing is disjointed, and the overall flow is hindered by abrupt transitions and lack of clear comparative structure. These features align with the Band 4 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, featuring frequent spelling and word-choice errors that strain the reader's understanding. Examples include 'flucation' and 'garph', 'incresed', 'gradullay', 'experecned', 'decrese', and 'substanially'. While the writer attempts some less common words like 'fluctuation' and 'substantially', the high frequency of misspelling and inaccurate collocations ('jump gradullay', 'dramatically drop') prevents the response from achieving a higher score, placing it firmly at Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent structural errors. There are multiple issues with tense consistency, missing subjects, and incorrect verb forms, such as 'line goes flat and reached at 3000' and 'then saw dramatically drop and increase substanially and goes flat and stop at 5000'. Punctuation is also weak, with run-on phrasing and missing commas. Because errors are frequent and occasionally obscure the intended meaning, this performance corresponds to Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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