Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of stores opening and closures between the years 2011 and 2018 in a specific area of a country.
Overall, in terms of shop openings,it started high and dropped significantly in the next year 2012 and fluctuating over the certain periods.In addition, shop closures remained at lowest point facing a huge decline during mid of 2011 and 2018.
Firstly, in 2011 approximately 8500shops were opened and the figure dropped significantly by about 4500 and only around 4000 shops opened in the year 2012. By 2014, the figure saw a slight rise in the new shops, constituting around 6,000 remaining the dominant year after 2011. In contrast, the figure fluctuated over the course of four years, opening about 3,000 shops by year 2018.
Regarding the number of shop closures, in 2011, about 6,300 shop were fully closed, while it experienced a huge number of shop closures by 2013 with the figure reaching up to 7,100 remaining the peak year after initial year. Conversely, the figure were approximately equal in the year 2014 with roughly 6,500 shops opening and closing at the same time. In contrast, the figure dropped significantly in the next year 2015, making 800 shops closed; however, the figure maintained the growth in the final years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student attempts to address all parts of the task by reporting the main trends and figures for both shop openings and closures between 2011 and 2018. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, the student states that shop closures reached a low point with '800 shops closed' in 2015, whereas the graph clearly shows closures plummeting to approximately 600. The overview provided in the second paragraph is somewhat muddled and contains confusing phrasing regarding closures and fluctuations, making the overall summary less effective. While the key features are generally touched upon, the lack of precise data reading and a coherent overview pulls this criterion down to a Band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, beginning with an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for openings and closures. However, logical progression is hindered by awkward transitions and confusing statements in the overview. Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately (such as 'Firstly', 'In contrast', and 'Conversely' used repetitively and sometimes illogically to contrast points that do not directly oppose each other). Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'the figure' which become ambiguous when multiple trends are discussed in close proximity. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires better linking to achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'illustrates', 'fluctuated', 'significantly', and 'peak year'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'stores opening and closures' (inconsistent pairing), 'dominant year', and grammatical slips in collocation like 'shop were fully closed'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but vocabulary range remains somewhat limited and repetitive, with frequent reliance on the word 'figure'. The lexical control meets the requirements for Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response includes a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as introductory participial clauses and relative-style modifiers (e.g., 'remaining the dominant year after 2011'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly concerning subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as '8500shops were opened', 'the figure were approximately equal', and missing pluralization ('about 6,300 shop'). Punctuation also suffers from spacing issues and occasional run-on structures. Despite these errors, meaning is generally conveyed, placing the performance solidly at Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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