Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph, below delinates the information about the absolute number of shops closed and opened in a country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, the visual data depicts that there was major decrease in the closures of shop. Whereas, openings faced major fluctuations.

To start with, closure of shop in the year 2011 the number was 8500 and it surpass the line of number of shops opened in the year 2014 leading a number of 4000 shops. However, there was a sudden increase in the number of shops and faced major fluctuation till the year 2014. Furthermore, the shop shutdowns faced a stable form till the year 2015.

Probing further, the openings of stores in 2011. The starting point was witnessed with 6500 shops, facing major downward and upward patterns till the year 2015. Besides this, A valley point noticed in the year 2016 showing a number of 500 shops. Lastly, it cuts the line for shop closures and reached a noticeable point in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The student attempts to summarise the main features of the line graph, but the response suffers from severe data inaccuracies and confusion regarding the two data series. For instance, the student states that the closure number in 2011 was 8,500 (which was actually the opening number) and confuses various other data points (such as placing a valley point at 500 in 2016 when closures were 5,200 and openings were 4,000). While an overview is present, the misreading of the graph and incorrect reporting of figures severely undermine the accuracy of the task response, placing it firmly at a lower band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction and an overall statement, showing some attempt at organisational structure. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by confusing statements and flawed referencing. Cohesive devices are attempted (e.g., 'To start with', 'However', 'Furthermore', 'Besides this'), but their usage is often mechanical or awkward, and they do not successfully guide the reader through a coherent analysis of the visual data. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow of ideas is disjointed.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with limited precision. The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary such as 'closures', 'openings', and 'fluctuations', but word choice errors are frequent and distracting (e.g., 'delinates' instead of 'delineates', 'absolute number', 'stable form'). Furthermore, the misuse of lexical items combined with data errors impedes clear communication. There is little evidence of less common lexical items being used accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and attempted complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'closure of shop... the number was', 'the shop shutdowns faced'), awkward phrasing, and preposition misuse (e.g., 'witnessed with'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries occasionally cause confusion. The high frequency of errors restricts the structural range and frequently strains the reader.

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