Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph shows the number of shops closed and remained open in a country.

We see fluctuations in tendency of Opening shop starting from 8800 to 4000,with sudden increase to 6000.Again decline in opening shops occured to 4000 and then to 3000 in 2011.

Similarly fluctuations occured in closing shops from 6200 to 6000 ,with an increase to 7100 and again fall to 6200. Majority of shops remained close to about 800 ,with an increase to 5100 .Time period of opening and closing seemed to be different at different times.

Overall the tendency to open shop remained high as compared to closure of shops.Mostly shops remained close in different hours .A consistency is being observed in opening of shops .Shops remained open in most of areas.First we see the closure time was low ,then sudden fall or long period is observed in closure time .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The student has failed to meet the minimum word count of 150 words, coming in at 146 words, which leads to a direct penalty in Task Achievement. Furthermore, the content reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of the prompt: the graph tracks shop openings and closures over years (2011 to 2018), whereas the student incorrectly interprets the data as daily operating hours or time periods (e.g., 'Mostly shops remained close in different hours', 'closure time was low'). While there is a weak attempt at an overview ('Overall the tendency to open shop remained high'), the data points cited (e.g., '8800', '7100') are inaccurate and do not reflect the actual figures on the graph. Consequently, the response does not adequately summarise the main features or make correct comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response is organised into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is severely disrupted by the misinterpretation of the visual data. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inappropriately (e.g., 'Similarly', 'Again decline', 'First we see'), and referencing is often unclear, making it difficult to follow the writer's line of thought. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks internal cohesion, resulting in an overall arrangement that feels disjointed and confusing to the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily reliant on direct repetition of words from the prompt ('shops', 'opened', 'closed', 'opening'). There are numerous unnatural collocations and word choice errors, such as 'tendency of Opening shop', 'opened shop', and 'shops remained close'. Less common vocabulary is attempted unsuccessfully, and lexical control is weak throughout, occasionally impeding the reader's ability to understand the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying mostly on simple sentences or poorly constructed complex clauses. There are frequent, persistent errors in punctuation, articles, tense usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'Again decline in opening shops occured', 'Majority of shops remained close to about 800', 'A consistency is being observed in opening of shops'). These errors are frequent enough to cause noticeable difficulty and strain for the reader.

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